My letter to the parents of Bryan Santana: Treasure Your Son

When I heard of your “wrongful birth” lawsuit, my heart sank.

I read that you, Ana Mejia and Rodolfo Santana, were suing  your West Palm Beach OB/GYN  doctor and ultra sound technician for $9 million for failing to notice that your son Bryan would be born with partial arms and one leg.  You claimed that you would have aborted your son if you had known of his disabilities beforehand.

You effectively told the world, and later your son, that his life is not worth living.

This situation hurts me in my deepest parts, Ana and Rodolfo, because I am the mother of three people much like your Bryan.  I know what a full and meaningful life my George, James and Hope have. I can tell you with certainty that Bryan can have that same kind of life.

I tried to find a way to communicate with you privately, but wasn’t successful. Yet I’m compelled to share my heart with you.  I hope this letter finds its way to you.

I’m not writing to condemn you, but to encourage you.  To free you to think differently.  Because it’s not too late for Bryan.  As his parents, your attitude about him will be the biggest factor in whether he succeeds or fails.  Your view of your son will be the biggest determining factor in how he sees himself.  It’s a big responsibility.  I know you didn’t want it.  But now it’s yours.

Don’t think of Bryan’s situation as a cruel accident.  I know that you probably feel like a victim right now.  But did you know there is a place in the Bible that tells us that a loving and good God is the One who forms us in the womb? And not only does he superintend that whole development process, but then it goes on to say that He actually knows what every one of our days will bring before they even come to exist?

“For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16.

I know that it seems overwhelming to think of raising a differently-abled child in a world that worships perfection. You live in West Palm Beach where every imperfection is remedied with a  surgeon’s knife.  And you are surrounded by a culture that believes more and more that only the strong and beautiful should live. But if you could believe that this loving God has a different plan for humanity, would you think differently about Bryan?

What if you realized that all of us are flawed?  Some of us have disabilities that are very visible, while some of us can hide ours for awhile–but they are there all the same.  God’s Word says that our lives in relationship with Him are treasure.  But that treasure is housed in “jars of clay.”  Frail, breakable containers.  He tells us that we are weak and imperfect, but that that very weakness can be our biggest blessing because it causes us to look to him and depend on Him to live our lives.

Look around on my blog and see the lives my children live. This can be Bryan too.

Believe that he is not an accident.  Believe that he is a beautiful gift given to you by our Creator for a higher purpose than you may ever know this side of heaven.

Yes, his body and ours are breakable, clay jars, but they contain priceless treasure.